Good evening my fellow comrads! It has been a great while since I have managed to drift my big ass back onto this site, but it was not intentional for me to be gone for so long! I had quite a few emergencies that has happened that i will share with you today! First and foremost, it feels good to be back and ready for action. I hope that everyone enjoyed their 'Octoberfest' Halloween season this year. It seemed, to me, bigger then the years before - except not much money being spent this year. With Thanksgiving just around the corner (this month), and then Christmas the month after that, it is going to be a splended ending for the year 2009! How splended, you ask? Well, let's take a look shall we! 1.) The world's Largest selling PS3/360/PC game of all time is making a come back with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 today! Opening night was last night, and I'm sure a lot of people are getting their dirty mittens trying to get money to buy that game (believe me I am). I am expecting a huge increase in sales for Infinity Ward and Activision with this game. 2.) Christmas Shopping! Everyone loves Christmas shopping (harhar)... I decided to splunder at the Dollar Tree this year, but Verizon did one up for me! They decided it's high time to give me a gift that I actually wanted: An HP Mini Netbook Series 1100-1100C :D (I'm using it right now as a matter of fact). Yes, this is one of the most unexpected surprised I could come across... With no job, and draining my unemployment dry.... I kind of rather just have a job and make it on my own. Now, yes there's always a third, but I'm afraid from here on out just wasn't as pleasant.... Life wasn't too kind to me this fall/winter... Just yesterday I went to the hospital for surgery to remove a cancer cell in the liver (but who knows where this cancer is actually at in my body as cancer does not generate in the liver)... I was lucky to have it removed, but the doctor said that he cannot find any traces at this time as to where it may be... so somewhere in this body of mine I"m developing a killer cell that may end my life eventually.... It's one of the most dishurting things I have to deal with.. with me never even smoked... or drink... and to believe that I end up with cancer then all my family who do smoke and drink. The reason why I haven't been on in such a while is not because I'm trying to ignore people with all of this, but because I'm taking care of my 100 year old grandmother while my aunt was in the hospital. She's better now, but has an IV system thing in her that goes straight to her heart, till the 17th... She had a slue of problems that I won't mention but... I had to stay here and take care of the family.. had no time to be on the PC even though I snuck on every now and then.... So yeah those are the few life stoppers I ran into this year, but I'm not looking at them as a bad thing. IN life, you got to keep on movin! sure we may break down, but that's why there are repair shops (loved ones, family, friends) to get you back on those wheels and on the road again! We are like automotives, guys! We never stop moving.. and when we do move, we end up with flats and rusted gear.... and eventually we can't move.... I feel like a semi.. it takes me a while to move, but when I get a'goin, I am on that road and I will push any that get's in my way! Let's do some little interactivity, fellas! What kind of vehicle would you compare yourself as? Remember, it's important to compare a vehicle based on a splunder of things: Your size, weight, hight, strength, activities... all that jazz.. I'm a rusty semi, but I'm gettin repaired ever so slowly! So, what kind of vehicle are you? Let me know through the comments or whatnot! I would love to read your responses, and thank you so much for reading this! I hope you all have a great afternoon today!
|
Ya know.. I feel like writing my blogs again :p But, yeah... is it wrong to be gay? I think, to an extent, it could be... Because I get this overwhelming sensation that I want to be a father.... It sucks, really... There's this girl I know.. I've known her forever... I've known her before she got pregnant.. I've known her before she met her ex boyfriend... I've known her when she met her first boyfriend... I've known her when she met her first girlfriend.... But most of all, I've known her wen she had her baby... without a father to be around... with a father for the baby to see... right when it opens its eyes... a father that was never to be bound to be found... I can't stand women being pregnant without a father... It drives me nuts because... is it wrong that I get this feeling that I just want to be there for them? I want to be their father! I want to... I just want to be a dad... Some of you probably think that 'OMG another kid, so annoying.' But I've ALWAYS loved kids.... (not like that you sickos)... I've always wanted to have one of my own... to raise.. and to take care of... one that can come up to me and say 'daddy.' One that can... ask me questions... One that can... ask me for money (I love that feeling :D).... One that can rely on me when there's no one else to turn to.... I don't think I would deprive my children... or smuther them like some parents do... I think, if I was a dad, I would sit there and listen to them.. and give them advice when they need it.. help them with work when they want it... And when they get older... and old enough to move on... I would look to myself in the mirror and say, "Boy.. I raised a child in this world that may understand the meaning of life... as I do." I want to be a father, guys.... But this sexual crap I keep getting is driving me nuts... I can't stand looking at a guy because when I do.. I think of him 'sexually' and it 's soo wrong.... I want it so bad, but it's not what I -really- want... I guess I am just confused about myself these days... I know some of you are probably going to comment "Well you can adopt." I don't really want to adopt... And others would probably say, "Well guys can have babies too." I don't want to be near a guy who thinks they can change their sexual orientation just to have a kid... that's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard.... I like guys who are guys.. not guys who act like girls... But I want to be able to like a woman both sexually and emotionally.. I can get the emotionally part down easily... but the sexually thing... Not so much... If I could find a woman... who could accept me for being this way.. but would help me in trying to change me... I think that woman right there would be the perfect wife and the bearer of my children. I want to be dad, guys... I guess you can say I'm tired of being a kid... I'm ready to grow up, ey... 22 years I've been a kid, playing Video games, and just sheltering my own self... but now, I'm turning 23 this month... I'm kind of tired of being this kid... I want a job... I want to work... I want to be able to support something.. someone... I want to have that feeling that I can do something good in this life... and I know I do good things to people... I always have.. I always listen to them, and always try to give them advice... I guess I'm just struggling these days. I know most of you on here are parents. .and grandparents at that... But think about it, fellas... what made you have kids? You got that feeling too... Or did it just 'happen'? I wish God would just... throw this woman in my face and change me >.> Anyways, I'm done ranting about this now... now it's your turn to comment!
|
After a complete full 10 hour rest, I woke up to my phone telling me I had 5 new email messages from IYP.. I figured it was those lunitic people with pathetic ways in trying to harass me (which is just funny) - I get on and Glen beat me to it already :p But yeah, those of you that are still not sure what's going on.. you can either choose to not worry about it, or continue reading this blog. It has come to my attention that, yes, I am now going to mention this as I hate (and I mean I -hate-) people who lie; especially people who lie to cover up what shouldn't even need to be covered up. I was currently in a relationship with someone online that I knew from long ago.. It was not a serious relationship, but it was a relationship non-the-less... The reason why it was not serious was because we both lived on the opposite ends of the US. Now, this relationship kind of dropped under the radar because the person in mention started college. He was already in college when we hooked up, but he switched to another college to finish up his career gaining.... Now, I haven't spoken with this person in a while, nor texted him in a while MAINLY due to the fact that I don't usually text people first. I wait for them to text me.. It's just how I am (I know I should text first, but meh)... But after a few weeks to almost a month of haven't talked to him (because he was in college.. I didn't want to bother him), I get an email that his attention was brought to one of my blog posts that mentioned his full name (which I didn't even realize I did that >.> I shouldn't of done that) for everyone online... Well, apparently he did not want people to know about us... I understood that, and he asked for me to remove it > Which I was okay with. I was not really okay to the fact that he has to lie about me, but if I wasn't ready to tell anyone, I would of done the same thing... Then, I get spam attacked by his online friends who say 'We are just here to take care of our friend!' (Sorry, kids, you don't know what friendship is if you keep this **** up) Yeah, so I get attacked, then I get this log file, which is quite interesting... So I contacted him about it. The log file, though I won't mention all of it, had a few things that stood out... All of what I read is what he told his friend.... Something like 'I thought it was a girl, and I was okay with that.' to 'He was stalking me and I told him to remove that blog post or I would sue him blahblah.' - You know, there's a few things that can hurt in life... Get stabbed by a knife, shot in the chest, broke a toe or foot (well sometimes when you break a bone you just don't feel it), or scratched deeply by your cat(s).... You know, pain like that heals over time.... But the pain I felt when I actually read and CONFIRMED that those log files were real, it put me straight back to my depression I was trying to climb out of with my first ex... I may be a psychologist to an extent... but, guys... I too have suicidal thoughts at times... and when you get your heart taken away from you again when you were just starting to recover from it the first time... You feel there is no more times in this god forsaken world for it to ever happen again... I didn't want to end up like what happened with my previous ex, who I still love to this day; so, I ended the relationship right then and there.... He may tell his friends that I am a stalker... that I am some kind of pedophile.... and his friends will never know the story. But, as for me, my truth is told and this blog post will NEVER be removed.. This is a reminder to everyone else... **** with my heart, and I will expose who you are to the world; or, at least to my world! It still hurts when I go to sleep because I think about texting him; but, then I think, "When will the next time be when he tells his friends that I am some kind of ****ing stalker." I apologize for the innapropriate posts that has been going on lately with the stalkers, but Glen has taken care of them... I know I have at least one great friend to take care of me when I'm down... Wait, Glen isn't a friend... He's a brother to me! He's the closest brother I got.. Because brothers take care of their siblings, and that's how I feel right now... And it feels good! Which is why I'm so happy this morning.
|
Due to a recent request from someone, I've made a very big oopsy.... so I decided to remove my blog posts on this site for no one to read >.> It hurts me that this oopsy had to be made, but it's a good oopsy.. The oopsy was that I removed the blog posts (dur) and I probably won't be putting much on here as much anymore for just anyone to read... Sorry folks, this one might be available for all to read, but none of my others, anymore... Apparently there are people out there in this world that all they do is search google on their 'friends' (really, you call yourself a friend and you question your other friends? Get a ****ing life) - Then take the information they search as a weapon just to destroy them (What a ****ing friend... Did that **** with me, and I knew you in real life, you best make sure you never sleep at night because I will litterally sneak in your room and slice your balls off... YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE A MAN when you treat your friends like ****.) - Yes, I understand how vulgar this post is, but waking me up in the few hours I've actually had to sleep with just to cuss me out about a blog IS NOT COOL!
|
|
|
